1st June 2010

I feel like I should add 'finally' to the heading of this blog entry. I spent a few days in Essex staying with my mother-in-law who is kind and generous but not as attuned to 'sneaky coffee-ing' as I. (Though in fairness - few are!) We had two utter (and disappointing) failures in sneaky coffee terms and both times her response was 'Well - we can have a coffee at home' which is accurate and pragmatic but entirely misses the point! Maybe I can see the true source of Simon's inability to grasp the concept properly!

The first incident would have featured a coffee trip for eleven - all six of our family, Nanny (aka Mother in Law or Marjorie), and Simon's sister Wendy and her family (husband Phil and two children). We went for a walk along the shores of Hanningfield Reservoir in windy, chilly and slightly damp weather - all the time bribing the children with the promise of sneaky coffee (or equivalent) at the Fishing Lodge cafe - about a mile along the path. We arrived at the cafe to find that they only served meals between 12.00 and 2.30 and no 'drinks only customers'. It was 12.30. The cafe was packed and our chance at coffee scuppered. The children were each appeased by a packet of crisps or bar of chocolate from the adjoining shop but there was no consolation for me (both foodstuffs were offered and declined - I wanted a coffee!)

The second time was the following day. It was cold, it was wet, it was grey and any plans for 'outings' had long since been abandoned. However - the kids were a little 'cabin feverish' so I suggested a trip to a local garden centre. I have found that garden centres are surprisingly good family destinations. They often have a pet section so kids can look at birds, fish, small mammals, reptiles. They also often have quite interesting shops and products to marvel and giggle at! (Honestly - some of the water features must have been designed as a joke!) They also often feature coffee shops - as this one did. The smell of the coffee was amazing as we pottered around looking at scented candles, silk flowers, hose pipe attachments and bird tables. We selected a few items for purchase (as I said - my Mother in Law is very kind - we all got something!) and then took them to the car as I had seen on a quick recce to to the cafe that baskets were forbidden. We then hastened back to the cafe - arriving there at 16.02 and finding it closed!!!! It closed at 16.00. I was sad.

But then... success.... sort of

Tesco, Mayflower Retail Park, Basildon, Essex

We ended up in Tesco. I needed to buy groceries to bring home to Birmingham. The others went into the cafe while I did a 10 minute run around an unfamiliar Tesco looking for familiar products. I finished, I joined them and was gratified to learn that the children still had just about enough stamina left for me to have a drink too.

Sneaky Coffee-ers: Anna - and Simon, Marjorie, Ethan, Naomi, Edward and Susie
Bought: Well I had a coffee but I couldn't say for certain what else was bought. I saw hot chocolate, more coffee, fruit shoots....
Cost: Don't know - Marjorie paid while I wasn't there. My coffee was 95p.
Cafe: Typically Tesco - in the corner of a vast store. It had some coffee tables with bucket red leather seats but table choice was made for me as I arrived last.
Position: Views of the car-park and a distant A127? Not much to comment on.

And? Well I got a coffee but it wasn't quite the experience I had hoped for!